How to Hide Your Dildo: Top-Secret Hiding Spots

I love dildos! They are simply great. An unknown person discovering your dildo collection, however, is a completely different story.

This guide is meant to show you how to hide (and subsequently store) said dildos. Never again will discovery be a concern. Team members of our organization will share various 'top secrets' of storing dildos; personal and specific methods if you will. Hearing where they currently hide their more private treasures (dildos being the new and exciting form of treasure) is part of the beauty of the entire process.

The Importance of Proper Storage

Let us begin by discussing storage; before we go into the super-secret hiding spots. People often place their sex toys in random drawers or boxes and completely forget about them.

This being the case, proper storage can be a bad idea for a number of different reasons. To start with, damaging the dildo itself is one possibility! Throwing other things into the same spot will inevitably lead to some form of squashing, scratching, even a full snap - great care as taken to prevent this, does not eliminate the issue entirely.

The more immediate risk is bacteria and simple dust building up on the surface of the toy. Left uncovered for an prolonged period of time a 'first use' attempt will most certainly be a very nasty surprise. Storing many different sex toys together opens up the possibility of at least partial damage to each other; silicone being the near perfect material we all hope to use, can and will react with other silicone toys (small or large) over time.

We have one simple, but all encompassing suggestion:

Each toy should be stored separately.

A Ziploc bag or soft cotton pouch is ideal.

Cleaning the toys before storing them is the final touch you will thank yourself for later. Body and mind both benefit from clean, well stored toys.

Top-Secret Hiding Spots

OK, so now that you have your toy in its own little bag, you need a place to store it away. Your parents, children, and roommates must not find it. The question is, where do you keep it?

To achieve maximum security, we recommend hiding behind a lock. A lockbox or some form of safe would be used for this purpose. The key cannot be accidentally discovered by anyone, howsoever it may be obtained.

There is no doubt that not everyone has a safe lying around in their house. Can you tell me where else there is good food?

It's still a great pick to hide your dildo in the second and third places on this list; very unlikely to be found if those spots are used. You will find these spots in suitcases, inside socks if need be.

As a matter of fact suitcases are great because nobody ever really looks inside them unless they're about to take a vacation. You don't have a vacation on the horizon, so thinking to 'look inside' is near impossible. Longer toys (double dildos being the prime example) fit perfectly in a suitcase - space and all, larger or smaller, are ideal for at least temporary storage.

The same idea can be implemented inside your socks. Going through a sock drawer is near impossible, and even if someone does, unrolling each and every pair to see what is inside would be the last thing they would think to do. Laundry people (if any exist) are the real danger, but to me at least, I would rather not have to worry about it being seen. Hiding is still a part of the fun.

Less Obvious (But Still Good) Hiding Spots

It is possible that our top-secret spots won't be the best fit for you, but there are still plenty of other options that you can try. Running the small risk of your dildo being discovered in one of these places is far better than leaving it completely out in the open; leaving it 'somewhere' is at least a temporary solution.

In a drawer. I would prefer one that isn't used that often, preferably something you never really use all that much.

In or under your bed. Ultimately this is where it will be used - kept, that is, in that location.

Underneath furniture. A cleaning spree will most likely happen, moving the item at least temporarily if not permanently.

A storage cube. The cubes stack, so putting it in the bottom is a good option, giving you more 'time' to intervene before someone finds out.

A shoebox. Let's be honest, rummaging through old shoeboxes is a near constant occurrence; hiding something small like this would be a perfect fit.

A poster tube. Discreet headphones of some sort are perfect to conceal a dildo - shape wise and simply by being small.

A coat pocket inside your closet. Winter coats in particular, I think, are ideal.

Choosing a Spot: A Quick Guide

Regardless of where you choose to hide, make sure you also factor in your own living situation when making that choice of hiding spots! Thinking about it, putting your bed under some form of furniture would seem like the perfect idea, until the realization sets in that your roommate vacuums your room twice a week. A coat pocket in the jacket pocket is another option I've used; siblings however, have and will always have, that slight (to me at least) annoying habit of taking your clothes!

Real-Life Hiding Spots: Stories from the Community

Would you like to know more about these ideas? Some real-life stories about creative hiding spots were gathered from our network. The following are some comments from people:

"The hole I cut in this old, worn-down teddy bear served as a storage compartment for my very first dildo. It was a big basket of stuffed animals that I no longer played with, and most of them were so dirty and torn that my mother never bothered to clean them. There was no way she knew! ”

"I took one of my best friend's boxes one day, put my dildo in it, and placed it on my shelf. They looked like fake books. They could be placed on your bookshelf, but they were hollow inside for storing things. I do not think she noticed until I took one of hers off the bookshelf."

"One of my toys is a double-ended dildo, and because of its size, it was a bit tricky to hide, so I had to hide it under my bed. In the closet, I found an old, long boot box that I thought would be perfect for hiding the toy in. As I stated earlier, the box was the perfect length and I never had anyone question why I was still keeping a pair of outdated boots."

"My tentacle dildo had the shape of a tentacle, which would make hiding it a bit harder. I put it in a shoebox and wedged it under my bed afterwards, along with my other shoeboxes. Someone who went through those boxes would be surprised to find a monster dildo inside."

Don't Forget the Lube!

It's very likely that you'll want your lube to be hidden as well as your setup if you want to keep it discreet. Simply put, hiding a sex toy is made easier by also hiding the associated things needed to use it.

The best part about lubricants is their packaging - small, unmarked pouches being the prime example. Removing them from their box and placing them somewhere out of sight upon coming home is a simple process.

Often taking the label off a bottle of lubricant is all that is needed to throw off any unwanted attention paying attention to the bottle itself. If anyone should ask what you're using (hair gel or hand cream being the perfect examples), saying those things will hold you perfectly fine. The ultimate hiding spot would be cleaning out an empty bottle of shampoo or shower gel; transferring the lube into it is the final step. Putting it back in its original place however, may lead to washing someone else's hair with your lube, so be careful!

You now know where the best places are to put your dildo, good to know that. Having the dildo is the real goal - and all the other things that go with it are just as important to you as the act of using it. New favorite(s) are waiting to be discovered. Perfectly (and finally) hidden, or at least near hidden, is what you need.